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Now What

by Joshua David Mitchell

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1.
Sometimes, I get to thinkin' all about life and death and all that stuff. These things can fill me up with doubt. I think about our precious time and how it ain't enough. These are not the kind of things I like to think about. My mind is racing here and there. My heart is aching, I don't know why. I just keep pacing, going nowhere. I wish I had more time. Sun'll set no matter what you do. Moon'll rise regardless of you. All I know is each day is confusing, brief, and yet, immense. When I'm old, I hope it all makes sense. I see no clearer by the sun than by the stars at night. If anything, I dread the naked shame of day. Why is the burden often heavy, the yoke so rarely light? Or am I doing things the wrong way? The hard way? My mind is racing here and there. My heart is aching, I don't know why. I just keep pacing, going nowhere. I wish I had more time. Sun'll set no matter what you do. Moon'll rise regardless of you. All I know is each day is confusing, brief, and yet, immense. When I'm old, I hope it all makes sense. Bitter tears, I've had my share. So sick of waiting; is that a crime? It feels like years, so here's my prayer: I wish I had more time. Sun'll set no matter what you do. Moon'll rise regardless of you. All I know is each day is confusing, brief, and yet, immense. When I'm old, I hope it all makes sense. I hope it all makes sense.
2.
There was a man, hailed from Ohio, traveling west from where he'd been. His tumultuous arrival caused a stir in Oregon. Oh, he carried just a bible, but he'd never looked therein. He was a prophet of the wolf, yet adorned in shepherd's skin. Oh, I'd say he looked quite surly, but he always wore white gloves. He said, "I mustn't get all dirty, for I serve the God above." But he'd always act so squirrely when we pressed for details of These alleged sacred holy acts he claimed to do and love. And he'd say: "Oh, pardon me. But can't you see? I'm a man of God, by that I mean God doesn't bother me. I believe in righteousness, in what I see. I'm a preacher of the good word if the good word's good to me." Oh, he spoke with wit and cunning. He could charm and he could lie With a smile most becoming and a twinkle in his eye. But his mouth so broadly running did expose a spineless guy. You could no more pin a stance from him than hold onto the sky. And he'd say: "Oh, pardon me. But can't you see? I'm a man of God, by that I mean God doesn't bother me. I believe in righteousness, in what I see. I'm a preacher of the good word if the good word's good to me. Yeah that's right." Soon enough the congregation pushed that joker out of town. Though his entrance sparked elation, his resistance wore us down. While I have no inclination to condone the church nor the hound, I can hear that prophet of the wolf and what he's saying now. Yeah, right now. "Oh, pardon me. But can't you see? I'm a man of God, by that I mean God doesn't bother me. I believe in righteousness, in what I see. Oh, I'm a preacher of the good word if the good word's good to me. Yes, I'm a big fan of the big man when the big man's good to me. And I'll see you Sunday morning, if I'm absolutely free. I'm a preacher of the good word when the good word's good to me!"
3.
I'm gliding. I'm free. I'm in the land of mem'ries. I hear them. I know them. I see the face so clear. The feeling. The calm. Why move? You've been here so long. I hear you. I know you. I see the face again. How lovely. You're in your lonely little world Where life occurs around you. With time so short, the years so fast unfurled Who can you trust to doubt you? The orange. The rind. The flesh that lingers behind. You hear it. You know it. You see the face again. It's your face. You're in your lonely little world Where life occurs around you. With time so short, the years so fast unfurled Who can you trust to doubt you? You're in your lonely little world Where life occurs without you. Say goodbye, farewell, my baby girl. I never learned to doubt you.
4.
Oh, I wish that I had a big beautiful voice that could make your head turn 'round. Send your hairs standing up on end just to hear such a pretty sound. But I'll never sing like Pavarotti and I'll never move you to tears. But I'll tell you my little secret that's kept me happy all these years. Don't spend your life wishin' for things that you don't have Or the things you'll never get. 'Cause that will never make you happy And it'll leave your heart upset. Life ain't a game of cards on the boulevard where the best hand always wins. If you play what you got and you play it real smart than you'll make it through in the end. Oh, I wish that I had a big beautiful face like you'd see in a magazine. The kind you can't help but look at twice and wonder what might have been. No, I'll never look like a model, but I've learned to be content. There once was a time when I wasn't, but you can prob'ly guess how that went. Don't spend your life wishin' for things that you don't have Or the things you'll never get. 'Cause that will never make you happy And it'll leave your heart upset. Life ain't a game of cards on the boulevard where the best hand always wins. If you play what you got and you play it real smart than you'll make it through in the end. I'm talking jacks, kings, queens, and aces. The kinds of cards you never see in your hand. You might have a pair of deuces, Or you maybe got a pair of threes at best, And you wonder how you'll ever get ahead In this tricky game of chance. Everybody's up there flying, And you're tied by the seat of your pants. Somedays, life may feel like a game of cards where the best hands always win. But if you play what you got and you play it real smart, But if you play what you got and you play it real smart, But if you play what you got, it may not be a lot, But you'll make it through in the end.
5.
Well, maybe I like it when the silence fills the room. Maybe that's the place I'd like to stay. And maybe you'd like it. The piano's still in tune. If you mind, I'd rather you not say. 'Cause when your lips move, I can't hear the words you're sayin' to me Your lips move And I don't know the god you're prayin' to We won't slow down Or stop the words from spillin' out of you. When your lips move I don't need to hear the words because they're true-ue-ue I don't need to hear them 'cause I know they're true-ue-ue They're a part of me like I'm a part of you-ou-ou I don't wanna hear them; I'm afraid they're true. Remember the quiet and the stillness of the earth? All it takes is a minor fall from grace. And maybe you'd like it, or at least you'd know its worth. No, I see what's written on your face. When your lips move, I can't hear the words you're sayin' to me Your lips move And I don't know the god you're prayin' to We won't slow down Or stop the words from spillin' out of you. When your lips move I don't need to hear the words because they're true-ue-ue I don't need to hear them 'cause I know they're true-ue-ue They're a part of me like I'm a part of you-ou-ou I don't wanna hear them; I'm afraid they're true. Gonna get me out of here, gonna have me move Gonna have me run away, gonna bring me back to you. Gonna get me out of here, gonna have me move Gonna have me run away, gonna bring me back to you. Gonna have me move Gonna have me move Gonna have me move Gonna have me move Gonna have me move Gonna have me move Gonna have me move Gonna have me move, move move! When your lips move, I can't hear the words you're sayin' to me Your lips move And I don't know the god you're prayin' to We won't slow down Or stop the words from spillin' out of you. When your lips move I don't need to hear the words because they're true-ue-ue I don't need to hear them 'cause I know they're true-ue-ue They're a part of me like I'm a part of you-ou-ou I don't wanna hear them; I'm afraid they're true.
6.
Me and my boy, Philippe. He's with me in the morning until he goes to sleep. Yeah, me and my boy. He says, "daddy, won't you buy me toys So I can show the others boys And they won't think we're cheap!" So says my boy, Philippe. Me and my boy, Philippe. His eyes are like his mother's, otherwise he looks like me. Yes, he is my boy. He says, "daddy, if we had a car Than we could go so very far If it was ours to keep!" So says my boy, Philippe. Me and my boy, Philippe. He's perpetually talking until he goes to sleep. Yes, sleep well, my boy. Tomorrow is another day Where you will have so much to say. For now, don't make a peep. I'll see you in the morn' Just as sure as you were born, My boy, Philippe.
7.
I've got a garden in the square Unlike one anywhere. The things that happen there Are so depraved you won't believe it. All the flowers have the tendency No, it's more of a dependency Not on rain or sun or air so fresh But on the sweet and supple taste of human flesh! It's a people-eating garden Where the buttercups butter up you! It's a people-eating garden. It's so beautiful when it's in bloom. The petunias and the orchids Eat the children nosing around. And as they chomp on more and more kids You get used to the screaming sounds. So whether you wanna see nature's food chain Get ripped apart at the seams Or just a range of the strangest hydrangeas you've seen Go to the people-eating garden Off west Aberdeen. Yes, it's quite the striking sight. You could say it's got real bite. While it's clearly a delight, The board of public safety has their opinions. But just follow my exact advice You will see the garden's very nice. Just read the rules and regulations through And you won't find a lily or lilac attackin' you. Oh, it's a people-eating garden. But those people don't have to be you. You can outlive your friends and neighbors If you do what I tell you to. No sandals or open toes Lest the ivy take a chew. And never stick your nose in the face of a rose Or the rose may take the nose off of the face of you! I'm talkin' just plain simple common sense here. I've done my research in books, magazines. I've got azalea paraphernalia practically up to my knees To run my people-eating garden Off west Aberdeen! Now I'll admit I've grown a bit Obsessed with my lovely flowers And it's true That one or two Folks I know have been devoured But that's part of the risk, that's part of the fun It's all part of the question, should you look, smell, or run? It's not a bug, it's a feature, it's a feature attraction Come step up and see the murder garden in action! 'Cause a humble daffodil Wouldn't give you half the thrill That a man-eating tulip will People crave a dash of blood and horror And we all love the tingly brush of fear And where else could you go but here To get eaten by a garden hedge That's what we in the biz like to call a competitive edge! Oh, it's a people-eating garden Where what's dyin' on the vine is you! It's a people-eating garden! It's a botanical satanical zoo! The zinnia's insidious They put the carnage in carnation And what the lavender does is hideous Just last week - oh the headlines! It was quite the sensation! So come on down to the garden! Bring the fam and survey the greens Where the amaryllis wants to kill us in a way most obscene And the marigold caused hysterical fuss the day it ate the teens Splattering brains across the strangest hydrangeas ever seen At the people-eating garden! At the people-eating garden! At the people-eating garden off west Aberdeen! Deen, dee-dee-dee-deen! At the people-eating garden off west Aberdeen!
8.
Cicadas 03:58
It's three in the morning and I haven't slept a wink. I can't turn off my brain, yeah, all it wants to do is think. Think about all my problems and regrets that I've made All the people that I miss, and the debts to be paid. And I toss and turn and pray That these thoughts would go away And I'd know what it's like to sleep. To have the feeling of still To have the quiet ability To drift off away to the deep. To know the feeling of flight in the night as the light Is wrapped in magical folds of stars. To feel the wind in my hair My body floating in air As I am looking on down from above. But I'm a light, light sleeper And the sounds of the cicadas keep me up. Now it's four in the morning and my mind is still awake. Yeah, it's drolly reciting all my flaws and my mistakes. Is there time for relief or is there time for reprieve? Is there something that I'm missing, oh, what can I believe? And I'm tired in my heart. I don't wanna fall apart. But I'm longing to be asleep. And I turn over again Oh, will this night ever end Or am I trapped in the void, in the deep? To know the feeling of flight in the night as the light Is wrapped in magical folds of stars. To feel the wind in my hair My body floating in air As I am looking on down from above. Oh, what I might see there if I dared to try. I know that you'd be there if I closed my eyes. But I'm a light, light sleeper And the sounds of the cicadas keep me up.
9.
Jesus, send the martians now! 'Cause everything you've made us has fallen into chaos, yeah! Jesus, send the martians now! There's nothing that can save us so let them all invade us! My daddy believed in Revelation But I believe in alien invasion. The government says that there's nothing in the skies But I know they're real; I won't take their lies! There's no hope for the human race So send in the cleaning crew from outer space! We've blown our chances to save face So let the little green guys come and take our place! You wouldn't want a planet going all to waste. Don't write me off as crazy; believe me, friends, I know That the only way to heaven is in a UFO. The milk of human kindness may be shriveled up and gone But the martians will see to it that the earth spins on and on! There's no hope for the human race So send in the cleaning crew from outer space! We've blown our chances to save face So let the little green guys come and take our place! You wouldn't want a planet going all to waste. Jesus, send the martians now! 'Cause everything you've made us has fallen into chaos, yeah! Jesus, send the martians now! There's nothing that can save us so let them all invade us! My daddy believed in Revelation But I believe in alien invasion. The government says that there's nothing in the skies But I know they're real; I won't take their lies! There's no hope for the human race So send in the cleaning crew from outer space! We've blown our chances to save face So let the little green guys come and take our place! There's no hope for the human race So send in the cleaning crew from outer space! We've blown our chances to earn your grace So let the little green guys come and take our place. Amen.
10.
Answers 04:05
Every heart's gotta break sometime You think, "sure, but why did it have to be mine? Good pain's a contradiction in terms!" Yes, but What doesn't kill you makes you stronger And in the end you'll live much longer 'Cause no one really dies of a broken heart That only happens in Shakespeare and art, so Slow down, and soon enough you'll learn Everybody's lookin' for answers: Cops and robbers, second chancers, Guys and dolls and great romancers. Oh, your pretty smile's seen some city miles Yet, you dutifully follow the dancers In your never-ending search for answers. Everybody cries sometime It's just a part of life and I find That tears make you feel a bit better now and then. It's okay to grieve through hard things Now and then you gotta let your heart sing 'Cause pain is something each and every one's gotta bear It isn't often easy and it may not be fair, but Push through; your luck will change once again! Everybody's lookin' for answers: Cops and robbers, second chancers, Guys and dolls and great romancers. Oh, your pretty smile's seen some city miles Yet, you dutifully follow the dancers In your never-ending search for answers. Everybody's lookin' for answers, Bright tomorrows, second chances, The dreamers and the great romancers. Oh, those city miles made that pretty smile Exit stage left with the dancers. Call me when you find your answers.
11.
Didn't think the world could change her, Didn't think she was in danger, Didn't second-guess a stranger, no. She wanted to believe, She couldn't lie or else deceive, She knew not what it was to grieve, oh no. She always made herself the lark, In every heart she left her mark, But she tread too close to the dark. She couldn't fight a losing battle If she couldn't see the shadow Of a wish that she once had. They'll take her from this place, A world beyond our time and space, But she refuses to give chase, oh no. Only minutes still remain Until the silent stars regain Their treasure that they've made their claim, oh no. Didn't think the world was turning, Didn't feel the fire burning, Didn't see the children learning, No no no no no no no. Didn't see the darkness swarming, Didn't heed the final warning, Never saw the light of morning, No no no no no no no no no! Funny how the things we hold most dear Can just as quickly disappear And then we've nothing left to fear. It's like the people often say: "When there's a will, there is a way," But can a will be saved? Oh no. A perfect princess she may be But that means nothing now if she Cannot evade the company. How can she attempt to hide From forces that can't be described? She waits. She is the perfect bride, oh no. A brilliant beam of light A golden moon upon the night A gift of holy blessed sight, woah-oh. No expression mars her face, She feels her very soul erase And disappears without a trace, oh no. She idn't think the world was turning, Didn't feel the fire burning, Didn't see the children learning, No no no no no no no. Didn't see the darkness swarming, Didn't heed the final warning, Never saw the light of morning, No no no no no no no no no!
12.
I had a feeling that you'd be around. Had my suspicions that you'd chicken out of leaving town. It's a funny story, but it brings you down. Somehow I knew you'd stick around. Times were good not very long ago. You seemed content enough with what you've gained and what you know. There comes a time when people finally cease to grow. That time for me was long ago. Is life a meaningless display Of confectionary proverbs that quickly melt away? What other words are there to say When we're obliviously stalwart To attractions of the day? What can you say? Don't know what more that you could ask to do. You've got your comforts, and you've got me and I've got you. But you're melancholic when you stop to see the view. Don't know what more you'd ask to do. But you and I are not the same. No, we differ in desires. We differ in our pain. Your place is here; that much is plain, But don't deprive me of my fire. Don't take away my flame. We're not the same. I guess the choice is really up to you. Turn back the time you spent on other things and start anew. The days are many, but the hours few. Yes, dear, the choice is up to you. The perils wait and are designed As conducive to temptation and apathy in kind. But forge the path you have defined And you'll reach your destination. Look forward not behind. Look not behind.

about

Next week, I turn 26 years old. That is not a big number in the grand scheme of things, but to me, it feels big. This past year, more than any other prior, I’ve began to feel the weight of the years behind me. The sense of time ceaselessly marching forward is something I’m becoming increasingly aware of. And all the while, I wonder if I’m making good choices that will further me along in life. What’s the next step? Am I keeping pace with the passing years? Or am I stuck treading water?

NOW WHAT speaks to these concerns (among others) in what is undoubtedly my most personal music project yet. I hope that you’ll give it a listen (and let me know what your favorite track is!). I’m exceptionally proud of this album and I think you’ll have a lot of fun listening to it.

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released November 17, 2023

All music written, performed, and produced by Joshua David Mitchell.
Mixing by Michael Alexander Cortes.
Cover photo taken by Michael Alexander Cortes.

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Joshua David Mitchell Monmouth, Oregon

I can't think of anything more important than doughnuts, except maybe family, but also cookies probably. Music is good. I want to work with you, so don't be shy!

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